


We Were a Tragic Romance Song

by RestlessCancer



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Death, Emotional, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Intimacy, Love, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Minor Character Death, Multi, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Original Character Death(s), Other, Sex, True Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-01
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 03:15:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,117
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10778385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RestlessCancer/pseuds/RestlessCancer
Summary: Castiel vowed to write out his history with the one that was his soul mate and gone too soon. Azrael comforted the angel with the joke that Castiel and his hunter were a classic tragic love story.





	1. The Vow to Remember

Castiel had many vessels over the course of history. He’d been a baby, a small child, a teenager, a young adult, a middle-aged adult, a senior citizen, and even a select few animal vessels. The ones he would never forget were the ones that touched the life of Dean Winchester. Now, the young angel had a rule. He would never ever take over the body of someone who wasn’t fated to die. He knew that in order to exist within a vessel, the soul occupying it had to be dislocated and sent off to Heaven. In most cases, this rule for selection would have caused contention between an angel and Death, but Castiel was very close to Death, whose true name was Azrael. They had seen many horrors together and they developed a trust that none of the others were as capable of crafting. Azrael had even confided that sometimes, they didn’t want to be the Angel of Death anymore because people like Dean began to blame themselves after a certain number deaths. But there were times where the two comforted each other when no others could console them. The first time Castiel had needed Death to help him through a tragedy was Dean’s final and absolute death, the end of his existence on every plane. There was one thing Azrael said that made Castiel laugh at just how true it was.

 

“I remember watching you in those vessels leading up to their ends.” Azrael chuckled, recalling them all with his eyes closed. “You and that Winchester were living a tragic romance song.”

 

Castiel shook his head with a sad smile and asked, “Which one?”

 

Death had taken his time and thought it over with care before he settled on one that both poetically and literally fit the story of Dean Winchester and his Angel, Castiel. It was a song that Dean had listened to in secret when his boyfriend from what would have been his sophomore year of high school died. The guy had literally been sick all his life, but none of the symptoms had shown until the fateful night that Dean and his boyfriend snuck out to the lake to watch the stars. Castiel was a very convincing Mitchell considering he hadn’t known what would kill the young man so he was every bit as confused at the human he displaced. That’s when the angel learned that world was not kind to its inhabitants as his vessel was slowly killed of by a combination of Acute Myeloid Leukemia and pneumonia.

 

“One Man Drinking Game by Mayday Parade.” Azrael declared, sounding like a gossipy teenage girl. “You two played those parts to the letter.”

 

“I guess we did…” Castiel agreed with a wistful smile as few tears escaped his eyes. 

His heart broke as the song played courtesy of his nearest and dearest friend.

" _And you said it would be funny_  
 _to keep me hanging in suspense,_  
 _then I'd run over to your house_  
 _and I'd scale the chain link fence_  
 _that, borders your back yard_  
 _and that I'd climb through your window_  
 _and I'd whisper that I love you_  
 _as you fall out of your clothes_  
  
 _And we'd lay there in the darkness_  
 _like the dream of you I had_  
 _where we captured all the fireflies_  
 _and we knew what time we had_  
 _could be counted on our finger tips_  
 _that almost made you cry_  
 _you let me hold you tightly_  
 _as we said all our goodbyes_  
  
 _may I say I loved you more_  
 _may I say I loved you more_  
  
 _and It must have been an hour_  
 _that I clutched you in my arms_  
 _and I must of said the the right things_  
 _because you instantly felt warm_  
 _and you heard my heart stop beating_  
 _and you wanted not to cry_  
 _as your sympathetic whispers_  
 _they told a tale of bad goodbyes_  
  
 _and you swore you say me laughing_  
 _and I swore I saw you smile_  
 _and this time we spent together_  
 _has got to last us quite awhile_  
 _as I take this piece of you with me_  
 _I'll carry it to my grave_  
 _knowing that for someone you're an angel sent to save_  
  
 _(Keep breathing my angel, if you go down I go down with you)_  
 _may I say I loved you more_  
 _(keep breathing, just keep breathing)_  
 _may I say I loved you more_  
  
 _lets drink to the memorys that we shared_  
 _down one to all the hopes and cares_  
 _heres too for being unaware, that your gone_  
 _because before too long you'll be a memory_  
  
 _lets drink to the memories that we shared_  
 _(before too long you'll be a memory)_  
 _down one to all the hopes and cares_  
 _(because before too long you'll be a memory)_  
 _heres too for being unaware_  
 _(I said before too long you'll be a memory)_  
 _that your gone_  
 _I said before too long you'll be a memory..."_

  
That’s when the Angel vowed to write down all that he remembered from his history with elder Winchester. There was no vessel that would be left in the dark.


	2. Bye Bye Bestie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean made his first friend before he lived his own 'series of unfortunate events.'

Dean was two years old and he swore he just met his best friend for life. Mommy and Daddy had set him up on a playdate with one of the neighbors’ kids. His new best friend was Mckenna O’ Malley. She was a three year old red head with an adventurous spirit spirit who loved the life out of Dean. She was the only kid close to Dean’s age within a five block radius- she lived next door. Castiel could remember watching the first playdate the two little ones ever had. At first, both of them were shy. Dean was dressed in a black AC/DC shirt with shortalls and the cutest little sneakers. Mckenna wore a Disney princess shirt depicting the princesses that had movies thus far with the little skirt that came with it, bloomers to cover her diaper (the other kids her age teased her because of it), and little blue sneakers. The parents had ushered the little ones into the Winchesters’ back yard to play on the small plastic jungle gym. At first, the kids just watched each other as they shyly hid behind their parents while the grown ups talked about them as if they weren’t right in front of them. Dean had looked over the backyard and spotted a black-capped Chickadee. When Daddy was at work, sometimes he and Mommy would go into the backyard and look at the birds that their feeders attracted.

 

“Mama!” Dean cooed, tugging on Mary Winchester’s skirt. “Kick’dee!”

 

“That’s right, baby! You found a Black-Capped Chickadee,” Mary praised, kissing her son’s forehead as she ran a hand through his soft locks. “Why don’t you go play with Mckenna? You could show her the different birdies you’ve seen.”

 

At that, Dean got even more shy and hid his face in his mother’s  pleated pastel blue skirt. He peeked at Mckenna who was trying her damnedest to hide behind her Daddy, who kept pulling her forward and wrapping his arm around her until she settled for trying to hide her face behind his arm. So Dean went back to bird watching and that’s when it happened. Dean yanked on his mother’s skirt for a solid five minutes until she finally got the message, giggling at her baby boy.

 

“Where’s the fire, De?” Mary joked, placing her hand over his to still his excited pulling.

 

“Mama! Ollie!” Dean informed her, pointing over to the burrow at the base of the huge pecan tree. “Livie!”

 

Sure enough, as Mary Winchester looked over, the two little burrowing owls she had been fostering long before Dean’s birth had surfaced. 

 

“Should we tell Mckenna and her Mommy and Daddy about Ollie and Livie?” Mary asked her son with a warm smile.

 

“Here they go again,” John joked, grinning at his wife and son as the former playfully smacked him in the chest. “I’ll go get their lunch.”

 

“Story!” Dean cheered, plopping on his bottom at his mother’s feet.

 

He blushed as Mckenna shyly sat down next to him, his cheek getting tickled by her wavy fiery locks as a breeze came through. Dean peeked back at Ollie and Livie, sad that they didn’t want to come any closer. The little boy supposed that they were probably shy too.

 

“Dean’s daddy and I moved here long before the angels brought my baby boy home. We knew that one day Heaven would bless us with our little angel so we had to be ready for whenever God decided to send our precious bundle.” Mary started. “One day, I came out to do some chores. I started by watering the flowers and then I checked the feeders. Now, I admit I’m very clumsy so bear with me when I tell the sad part because I know it was my fault. Sometimes, I would go over to our pecan tree to pick off the nuts to make snacks and desserts. That day, I decided to do just that. I grabbed my little basket and step ladder and went to go pick some pecans. I had seen the burrow below the tree before, but I had never seen anything come out. I had assumed it belonged to a badger or something else. I kept asking Dean’s Daddy to get rid of it, but he’d been very busy with work so he was too tired and I was too afraid that something might have moved in to do it myself.”

 

As Mary spoke, John came out with a small tupperware of raw chicken cut into small pieces. He sat down and placed the container on the side table, watching the two owls inch a bit closer as one fluttered and snagged an insect out of the air.

 

“So while I was cutting off some of the pecans from the lower branches, I saw something move on the ground!” Mary continued, overdramatizing the event for the little ones’ enjoyment. “I nearly shrieked in fright but I was so scared that I couldn’t even scream. I lost my balance and ended up yanking part of the branch right off the tree as I fell down- boom! A few of the pecans in their shells fell down with me and scattered. I slowly got up, watching for movement as I went. When I slowly picked up the branch I broke off, I saw them! Two beautiful burrowing owls! Unfortunately, my clumsiness had caused those two to get injured. When Dean’s Daddy came home, I had him put on some of the big gardening gloves and carefully put the two into a box that I grabbed and put towels into. We rushed off to the vet and had them looked at. They were just fledglings at the time and the vet said they were a type of owl that wouldn’t be around if we weren’t careful. So I looked into it and I took care of all the boring grown up stuff that I had to do and now Ollie and Livie are part of the family! I nursed them back to health and let them go back to their burrow. Now, they come and go from inside the house whenever they please and we feed them everyday.”

 

“Speaking of which, I brought their lunch and I think they’re getting hungry enough to get over their shyness.” John pointed out, handing the container to his wife.

 

Dean turned around and saw the two birds at the far end of the patio. He looked to his mom and held out his hands. Mary smiled and put a couple pieces of the meat in his tiny appendages. Dean shyly turned to Mckenna and offered the pieces to her.

 

“‘Enna feed hoo-hoos?” Dean offered.

 

Mckenna looked to her parents who nodded and encouraged their little girl to go for it. She got to her feet and took the pieces of chicken from her new friend. Dean turned back to his Mommy and got a couple more pieces. The parents watched as Dean lead the little girl over to his pets. Mckenna watched carefully as Dean held out his hands, keeping his palms flat and fingers out of the way. Livie, the smaller of the two owls, approached and ate out of his hands like she had every other day. Mckenna grew more anxious, mimicking Dean’s pose as the one named Ollie came closer to her. She was terrified and about ready to cry and run away as the bird got close enough to eat out of her hands. But before she could actually react, Dean moved closer to her, putting his hands under hers to hold them steady as he smiled shyly at her.

 

“Ollie nice…” He explained quietly as the owl gently took a piece of meat from his friend’s hand. 

 

Mckenna watched in awe as the beautiful creature carefully plucked the last piece from her hands and then nudged her tiny palms with his soft, feathery head. Mary came over and sanitized their hands with a soapy washrag and dried them with her skirt. She then helped to guide Mckenna’s hand to pet the bigger owl as Dean pet the smaller one. Livie made a clicking sound, which Dean had been taught meant she was happy. He giggled and surprised Mckenna when he kissed the top of Livie’s head as he gently smoothed her wing.

 

“You can give Ollie kisses if you like, Mckenna,” Dean’s Mommy told her.

 

Mckenna, being the brave soul she was, slowly leaned in and kissed the other owl. She looked to her parents, who praised her and told her how nice she was for helping take care of the owls. The little red head grinned and looked back to her friend. As the owls wandered further onto the patio, fluttering up to take over Mary’s abandoned chair next to John, Mckenna tackle hugged Dean into the grass and they both giggled. Remembering her manners, she got up, helping Dean up too, and dragged the little boy over to his parents. Mary had sat down again with Livie on her shoulder and Ollie in her lap. 

 

“Thank you, De’s Mama,” She said sweetly as she kept a hold of Dean’s hand. “I like them and… and De too…”

 

The last part was a little quieter as she blushed, but they all heard her.

 

“You’re very welcome, sweetie.” Mary responded with a loving smile. “I’m glad you like our little family.”

 

“We go play, p’ease?” Mckenna requested.

 

“Of course, honey. Have fun with my little boy. Keep him out of trouble.” Mary acquiesced, winking at the little red head as she pet Ollie, who looked about ready to nap.

 

So the two little ones ran off into the yard, deciding to play tag for awhile. Dean was pretty good at tag but he had definitely inherited his mother’s clumsiness. As he went to run around the corner of the tiny play equipment, looking over his shoulder to see how close Mckenna was, his foot found one of the shelled pecans that had been flung by the lawn mower the day before. In an instant, Dean was falling as he looked in front of him, seeing nothing but the bright blue plastic wall his head was colliding with before he saw the grass. Dean was bawling with reckless abandon as Mckenna rushed over. Mary had quickly set her pets aside and started to dash over to her baby, being stopped by her husband. She gave him her best bitch face before it dissolved into a kicked puppy look as he continued to hold her back.

 

“Mary, look!” He gently urged as they both heard Dean’s cries quiet down.

 

As the two looked over, Dean was partially lying in Mckenna’s lap as she hugged him and pet his hair. She hesitated, then leaned forward and kissed the spot that she thought had been hit. She held him closer as he calmed down and snuggled into her. 

 

Looking back, Castiel couldn’t believe that it was the beginning of heartache for his future husband. Over the two years, Mckenna and Dean only bonded further. It turned out both their families were having babies. Mckenna was supposed to have a little sister and Dean was going to have a little brother. Both excitedly stuck close to their mothers at home, doing any small tasks they could to help them. They were both eager to prove they could be helpful and trusted to help look after their baby siblings when the time came. It was a couple of months before Mckenna and Dean saw each other once both of their siblings were born since their mom’s were mostly bed-bound and exhausted. But after those couple of months, Dean and Mckenna were inseparable once again. Even their baby siblings had started to play together as they were laid on the same kick’n’play mat while the mothers cozied up with cups of tea and watched their children play. Like any friends, Dean and Mckenna had small spats, but they didn’t usually last long and were soon forgotten. Everyday without fail, Mckenna would help Dean feed the owls so his mom could focus more on baby Sam, but that didn’t mean that Mary didn’t sneak out late in the day or before anyone awoke in the morning to see her feathered babies. 

 

All too soon, Azrael had told Castiel of the fate to befall Mary and her owls. The owls would be the first to go, so, as much as it pained Castiel to know the pain it would bring, he decided his first host would be Livie the burrowing owl. He wanted to create some very special memories for Dean and Mary before their favorite non-human family members came back home to Heaven.

 

It was clear that Mary and Dean were ecstatic by Livie’s increase in affectionate behavior as Castiel guided her body to do as he desired. It had been a little awkward at first, but no one had paid it much mind since both owls were somewhat brain damaged from the accident all those years ago. With Ollie always following Livie’s lead in the past, he became more affectionate as well. Mary even joked that it was like her boys were being seen as the owls’ nestlings. Castiel had to laugh at that one, which came out as a happy whistling noise from his vessel. Livie was constantly following Dean around, only leaving his side to go outside and relieve herself. Ollie was attached to Mary and Sam almost all the time, following Livie whenever she went outside. It was an amiable situation for all involved. But then the time came. It was nearly dawn five months before Mary was fated to die. The mother was awoken by the sound of a dog they didn’t have and her son crying his eyes out at the patio door downstairs. Dean had awoken before Mary when he heard rustling and other noises. He had crept downstairs, thinking he needed to unlock the pet door they had installed for Livie and Ollie since they had been waking up early and coming into the house on the nights they weren’t asleep indoors with their favorite humans- Livie with Dean and Ollie with Mary, Sam and John. Unfortunately, Dean had been somewhat wrong. Ollie and Livie were trying to get to the house but before they could, a huge pitbull-mastiff mixed dog came out of nowhere and tore the beautiful birds apart. John and Mary had rushed down with Sammy crying John’s arms. Mary scooped Dean up and held him as they cried together for the death of their feathered family members.

 

John was upset, but not nearly as affected by it since he was never that close with the birds other than the occasional feeding and petting. Castiel had been shocked right out of his vessel and stood in Heaven with Azrael, who handed Castiel the two owls. The angel took the unfortunately fated birds back to his garden and used his Grace to create the perfect burrow for them. They clicked happily at him before leaving him to go to their home. Castiel smiled sadly and went to his fountain to watch over the Winchesters.

 

“Are you going to do the same for Mary Winchester?” Azrael asked, joining his friend.

 

“Not quite. I won’t take over her body until the second leading up to her death.” Castiel answered, his eyes glued to the family he wished was his. “I don’t want to deprive her of time with her children. I only wish to save her from suffering when she leaves their world.”

 

“You have such a loving Grace.” Azrael commented, amazed at the dedication.

 

“Love is nothing more than an illusion.” Castiel disagreed. “Aman Jassal said that and I tend to agree.”

 

“Even so, it’s one of the most powerful and empowering illusion of them all.” Azrael reminded him. “Why else would every being fight to obtain it?”

 

With that, Death left to do his job while Castiel considered the wise angel’s words. It seemed like mere minutes before Castiel returned to Earth the night that Sammy turned six months and the yellow eyed demon came for Mary Winchester. It was a nasty surprise to the foul creature when Castiel showed up and eased the mother’s suffering. The angel was ready to smite the demon, but he had to make sure everyone else made it out alive so the yellow eyed asshole lived to see another day. At first, John Winchester hadn’t believed what he saw because he knew he was grieving and distressed. So they stayed in the extra rooms that the O’ Malleys offered to them. Mckenna and Dean shared her room on the nights when Dean needed a more nurturing companion- the little girl had learned a thing or two from Mary about being a good mother since the little girl was so determined to one day be one. Sammy didn’t seem to notice much of a difference since he was so young and John wasn’t all there mentally. He was checked in enough to take care of the boys’ basic needs and go to work- anything that could become a mindless task he could do, but when it came to comforting or playing with his children, he just couldn’t muster the energy or emotion. The Winchesters ended up living with the O’ Malleys until Dean was in third grade. That’s when Azrael approached Castiel once again.

 

“Who is fated to die this time?” Castiel questioned, not even looking up.

 

“McKenna Marie O’ Malley.” Azrael answered in a quiet, solemn tone. “She’ll get hit by a bus trying to save Dean Winchester when he gets bullied and tries to run away, crossing in front of oncoming traffic. Do you intend to lessen her suffering too?”

 

Castiel only nodded.

 

“She dies tomorrow.” Azrael informed the younger angel. “ So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love, E.A. Bucchianeri.” 

 

“Too true, Azzie, but...” Castiel agreed. “Love is hard to find, hard to keep, hard to forget, which I believe Alysha Speer once said.”

 

“Be careful, dear friend.” Azrael warned. “Love is not to be taken lightly, people have died for far less but have suffered until the end for it as well.”

 

Castiel didn’t have time to answer as the angel took off. He knew he should be careful because loving a human has been the ruin of many angels in the past. And so, in what was a blink of an eye for the heavenly being, Castiel was back on Earth. He gently joined Mckenna’s soul in her earthly shell and had a chat with her.

 

_ Hello, Mckenna. _ The angel greeted, showing himself in her dreams that night.

 

_ Who are you?  _ Mckenna demanded, every bit the spitfire even in her dreams.

 

_ I’m Castiel. I came from Heaven. I’m an Angel.  _ Castiel explained, fanning his gorgeous, expansive black wings outs for her to watch the universe on. There were stars and galaxies and so much more.

 

_ They’re so beautiful…  _ Mckenna breathed, reaching a hesitant hand out.

 

_ You may touch them if you like, but I do wish to talk to you.  _

 

The girl nodded and delicately stroked the super soft wing.

 

_ Mckenna, sweet girl, are you afraid of Azrael?  _ Castiel posed.

 

_ Like the angel of Death? I guess not… Why?  _ Mckenna responded, glancing up at the black-haired angel.

 

_ He told me he’s to take you home to Heaven tomorrow. _

 

_ Does that mean I’m going to die? _ Mckenna asked, afraid to hear the answer.

 

_ Yes. _

 

_ Will it hurt a lot? _

 

_ It doesn’t have to hurt at all. _

 

_ What do you mean? _ Mckenna questioned.

 

_ I want to prevent your suffering, Mckenna. If you let me, I can send your soul before it happens and take care of your body until it expires. _ Castiel answered.

 

_ Can I at least see everyone one last time before then? _

 

_ Of course. I can wait until the middle of your school day tomorrow, but after that, if I’m to remain in your body to save you from the pain, your soul will be displaced, pushed out, and Azrael will take you to Heaven. I can only hold in my Grace for so long. _

 

_ Okay, I’ll do it. _

 

_ Are you sure? _

 

_ I’m not stupid, Mr. Castiel. I know I can’t change God’s plan and if I don’t have to suffer, well then I don’t want to.  _ Mckenna bluntly stated with her arms crossed over her chest.

 

_ You’re very smart. You should have taken them up on their offer to let you skip a few grades. You would have done well in the more challenging classes. _

 

_ I’ll tell you what I told them. I’m a kid right now and I like it that way. Besides, I’m not leaving my best friend behind. He needs me.  _ Mckenna sassed with a smirk- which Castiel swore is where his future husband learned it from.

 

_ Fair enough, Ms. O’Malley.  _ Castiel granted.

 

With that and the addition of a sobbing Dean Winchester tugging on Mckenna’s arm, the dreamscape interaction ended. 

 

“Dean?” Mckenna croaked, still half asleep. “What’s the matter?”

 

Dean was crying too hard to really answer so she got out of bed and looked over her friend. That’s when she noticed it- his pajama pants did a terrible job of hiding his swollen pull-up. Mckenna’s heart broke for him. He was still having nightmares about his mother and still hadn’t said a word since her death. Six years and not a single word. 

 

“Did you have an uh-oh, Dean?” She asked in very sweet, concerned voice.

 

Dean nodded tearfully as she took his hand and led him to the bathroom, turning the light on. She was used to this routine. For years, John had been absent from actually caring for his sons which royally ticked off the little redhead. So Mckenna had pretty much taken over and become Dean and Sam’s nanny. It was weird when she thought about it too much because she was barely two years older than Dean, but it worked and Mckenna didn’t mind- she was a natural. Her parents had two more kids in since the Mary Winchester died so she had her hands full, leaving Mckenna the only one paying attention to John’s children.

 

“Is Sammy still asleep?” She asked, already knowing the answer.

 

Dean nodded as she helped him out of his pajama pants, sniffling all the while. She already knew about genders and the birds and bees and blah, blah, blah so changing Dean didn’t phase her in the least, especially since she had changed almost as many diapers as her mother. The elder Winchester child had been wearing Mckenna’s old pull-ups because Dean’s dad didn’t know about his accidents and probably wouldn’t have done anything productive about them anyway. So she helped him out of the soggy garment and threw it away. Then, she grabbed the wipes, cleaned him up and had him lay down. On nights like these, when Dean had worse accidents than normal, she diapered him so she wouldn’t wake up to wet sheets in the morning. So she grabbed a nighttime diaper from under the sink, lifted his lower half by his ankles and put the spread out garment under his bum. She grabbed the baby powder and sprinkled it on him before expertly taping the diaper up. Mckenna would never admit it, but he was pretty adorable like this. 

 

“All better!” Mckenna cooed, pulling him into her lap and rocking him a bit. “I love you, De…”

 

Before the girl’s funeral, Dean would only speak five words. The first four came in that moment.

 

“I love you too…” Dean sniffled, clinging to her like a starfish on the side of an aquarium tank.

 

Mckenna was so amazed and touched that she showered his tear-stained, snot-covered face in thousands of kisses. It was safe to say that it elicited cheerful giggles from the young boy. Mckenna got to her feet, surprising Dean by hefting him onto her hip, and carrying him back to her room. They got settled into her Monster High themed bedding and she turned to him with a grin.

 

“Open up!” She fawned, shoving her hand under the pillow he was going to use.

 

Dean was pretty sure he knew what she was going to do and he certainly didn’t object since his Dad had been pretty mean in the last couple of years when he did pay attention. Dean didn’t appreciate the change from absent to abusive one bit but he still had his Mckenna and Sammy so it wasn’t all bad. When Mckenna brought out the object she retrieved, he blushed and smiled shyly as he opened his mouth like she requested. Mckenna gently pressed the light blue pacifier with the words ‘Mommy’s little Angel’ in cursive scrawl on it into the young boy’s mouth. He instantly started sucking and fell into a rhythm as he snuggled up to her. He loved her and the fact that she always knew how to take care of him the way he needed and when. His dad didn’t care about him most of the time and when he did, it seemed like the man wanted him dead.

 

“I know what you’re thinking, De, because you think it every night…” Mckenna whispered into the dark. “Your dad doesn’t want you dead, he just wished you didn’t look so much like Ms. Mary. It hurts him to look at you and see your mom… My Aunt said that about her son when her husband passed away. She loves my cousin and tries to control herself, but it just hurts her so bad to look at him and see his dad.”

 

Dean looked shocked for a moment as his pacifier slowed its bobbing. 

 

“But it’s okay because no matter what happens, I’ll always be with you and I know for a fact that angels are watching over you and Sammy.” Mckenna assured the boy as she propped herself up on one elbow and played with his hair. “I love you, Dean and there’s at least one angel who loves you a lot. I met him in a dream.”

 

Castiel was shocked by the girl’s words. He had never mentioned anything about Dean to her, but the little girl was apparently smarter than he gave her credit for. He supposed being practically enmeshed with her soul gave her a better idea of his real purpose and intent. So he quietly stayed in the background within the vessel and listened to her as she started to sing- she really had a beautiful voice.

 

“ Come here, please hold my hand for now. Help me, I'm scared please show me how To fight this, God has a master plan And I guess, I am in his demand. Please save me, this time I cannot run And I'll see, you when this is done And now I, have come to realize  That you are, the one who's left behind. Please stay, until I'm gone. I'm here, hold on, to me I'm right here, waiting,” She sang, doing her best to hold back the tears in her eyes. It was easier to bullshit the angel in the dream because she didn’t have to see the faces of the ones she would leave behind. “I see, the light it feels good And I'll come, back soon just like you would. It's useless, my name has made the list And I wish, I gave you one last kiss. Please stay, until I'm gone I'm here, hold on, to me I'm right here, waiting And take, my one last breath And don't forget That I will be right here, waiting…”

 

With that, Mckenna gently displaced the pacifier from Dean’s mouth and kissed him the way she’d seen her parents and movie stars do. She slipped the soother back in his mouth and held him close, feeling his hand gripping the fabric over her newly developing breasts. She wanted Dean to know that she didn’t just see him as a baby that she took care of, but a boy she loved who happened to need a little extra love now and then. After all, kids her age still played house- usually with dolls and action figures but not everyone was the same. Not long after, they fell asleep. The next day, Mckenna and Dean had nearly forgotten all about last night. They went through their usual schedule, getting up and ready, going to school, attending classes as if they were normal third graders, and then it was midday. Castiel had guided the girl into the restroom where he prepared her for her trip to Heaven as Azrael arrived to lead her home. He had enough observation to know how to act and to who to be able to carry on in her place until after school. The boys in Dean’s class were harassing him again, teasing him about his silence and saying that Mckenna was his mommy who had to stand up for him and teach him how to speak. ‘Mckenna’ intervened and went off on the pre-pubescent boys.

 

“What the hell is your problem?” She shouted at them, stepping between them and Dean on the sidewalk outside the front doors to the school. “Are your own lives so terrible that you have to try and distract yourselves by picking on kids worse off?!”

 

“Aww, Mama’s standing up for her big baby again!” Christian joked, laughing with his other jerk friends. “Does your Mama need to kiss it all better and change your diapers cause you’re just a little baby scared of someone your own size? I’d say age but obviously you’re just a big baby.”

 

Dean looked like he wanted to get mad and fight them, but he was just so broken up and embarrassed that he was closer to tears than throwing punches. In Heaven, Mckenna was fired up and itching to be back on Earth and haunt those jerks, but Azrael had already sat her down and had a chat with her about what to expect from then on. She was grateful when she saw the angel’s reaction to the boys’ nasty words.

 

“Yeah, big baby need his binky?” One of the groupies taunted.

 

“Aww I think he wet his pampers, he’s so scared!” Another teased.

 

“That’s it! Shut the fuck up!” ‘Mckenna’ snapped, astonishing all of them. “You don’t know a damn thing about him! He’s more special and brave than any one of you spineless losers!”

 

Castiel felt bad about technically encouraging a child to swear, but he knew that Mckenna wasn’t saying anything she hadn’t already heard. She shoved Christian roughly as she made her point.

 

“So you’re still gonna fight for him?” Christian egged on, shoving her back even harder. “You’re just proving that he’s as useless and dumb as the big baby he acts like.”

 

Mckenna and Castiel alike lost it. She punched the boy straight in the face and broke his nose. She clutched her hand for a moment, but quickly regrouped as an all out fight began. The other two had joined in, one tag-teaming against her and the other going after Dean. ‘Mckenna’ elbowed the sidekick in the temple, effectively knocking him to the ground with a well-placed kick. Then she kneed Christian in the crotch so he’d release his arm from around her throat. That was two down and one to go. Dean had curled in on himself on the ground while the boy was kicking him. She grabbed him by the hair and punched him in the face, shoving him to the ground as he clutched his nose in pain. 

 

“De? It’s okay, they won’t hurt you now…” She promised, trying to help him up.

 

Dean just shoved her away with a looked that screamed, ‘this is all your fault.’ He got to his feet, crying waterfalls and dashed towards the street to run home. At this point, fate took over Mckenna’s actions and Castiel sat back within her body and watched. As he got close to the street, Mckenna heard the telltale sound of cars starting to arrive to pick up kids from the school. She dashed after him, barely reaching him in time to shove him out of the way of an SUV that didn’t obey the school zone speed limit.

 

“Dean! I love you!” Mckenna screeched as she shoved him all the way to the curb on the other side of the road.

 

Just like that, Mckenna was crushed by the SUV, which pulled over after all four wheels had already mutilated her body. Castiel flew back to Heaven and watched and Dean sobbed over her corpse.

 

“Noooo!” The boy screamed, clutching her broken body in his arms.

 

It was then that Mckenna’s mom showed up. Everything went south from there. Three weeks later, the funeral for Mckenna Marie O’Malley was held. Castiel sat with Mckenna by his side in his garden and watched through the crisp water of his fountain. They had seen Dean working hard on some sort of written piece, but neither really knew what it was. He had been looking up lyrics from one of Mckenna’s favorite bands, Owl City. As the funeral progressed, they finally got their clarification.

 

“And now, I am told that Dean Winchester would like to perform a song for the dearly departed. It is in the funeral program the lyrics and the two songs, Lonely Lullaby and This Isn’t the End, that young Dean edited together for this occasion to express his feelings about the departure of dear Mckenna.” The pastor announced, stepping down as Dean came up to the microphone and cleared his throat. He waited for the music to start and the beat to align with the timing for the lyrics. Then, he began to sing and his voice was one to rival those of the angels.

_ Symphony of silver tears, _

_ Sing to me and sooth the ring in my ears, _

_ Overcast these gloomy nights wear on, _

_ But I'm holding fast because it's darkest just before the dawn. _

_ I sang my princess fast asleep, _

_ 'Cause she was my dream come true, _

_ Oh ‘Kenna Marie, believe me, I loved you. _

_ But now those lonely lullabies, _

_ Just dampen my tired eyes, _

_ Because I can't forget you. _

_ Because I can't forget you. _

 

_ When the rain falls down _

_ When it all turns around _

_ When the light goes out _

_ This isn't the end _

 

_ But I'll dissolve when the rain pours in, _

_ When the nightmares take me, _

_ I will scream with the howling wind, _

_ 'Cause it's a bitter world and I'd rather dream. _

 

_ Dizzy love turned a star lily pink, _

_ And hung above our lids too flushed to blink, _

_ But icy blue froze the fairytale cold, _

_ Though I treasured you and you sparkled with someone to hold. _

 

_ The role of her boyfriend I never deserved _

_ I abandoned my girlfriend and never returned _

_ And over the years though the pain was real _

_ She finally forgave me but she’d never heal _

 

_ How close is the ending, well, nobody knows _

_ The future's a mystery and anything goes _

_ Love is confusing and life is hard _

_ I fight to survive 'cause we made it this far _

 

_ So I sang my princess fast asleep, _

_ 'Cause she was my dream come true, _

_ Oh ‘Kenna Marie, believe me, I loved you. _

_ But now those lonely lullabies, _

_ Just dampen my tired eyes, _

_ Because I can't forget you. _

_ Because I can't forget you. _

 

_ When the rain falls down _

_ When it all turns around _

_ When the light goes out _

_ This isn't the end _

_ When the rain falls down _

_ When it all turns around _

_ When the light goes out _

_ This isn't the end, no _

 

_ ‘Cause I'll still dissolve when the rain pours in, _

_ When the nightmares take me, _

_ I will scream with the howling wind, _

_ 'Cause it's a bitter world and I'd rather dream. _

_ And I'd rather dream. _

 

_ ‘Cause It's all too astounding to comprehend _

_ Since It's just the beginning this isn't the end _

_ Oh, It's just the beginning this isn't the end _

 

_ ‘Kenna Marie, I'll never forget you. _

_ ‘Kenna Marie, I'll never forget you. _

_ ‘Kenna Marie, remember me? _

_ I'll never forget you. _

_ ‘Kenna Marie, remember me? _

_ I'll never forget you. _

_ ‘Kenna Marie, remember me? _

_ I'll never forget you. _

 

Mckenna was in tears as she hugged Castiel. She was moved by Dean’s song and his bold move of singing after years of silence. She couldn’t believe that she’d never see him again. After Castiel had returned, he had explained that there was a good chance that would be the way it went because he was the Righteous Man from the prophecy, the one that would be used to save the world. She only wished she could have told him how important he’d be and that she loved him the same way.

 

“He knows, Mckenna. I promise he does.” Castiel comforted her. “Why else would he confess all of that in song?”

  
They watched as Dean dropped the mic at the end of the song and ran off stage, locking himself in the bathroom with Sammy, who was crying almost as hard as his big brother. John Winchester was nowhere to be found. He knew of Mckenna’s passing and the funeral, but that didn’t mean he still had enough of a heart to care. Especially once he discovered that a mother a couple states away had died the same way his Mary had. It was time to get some answers and he was going to be prepared for anything. From there on, Castiel had known life would only get harder for Dean, his brave hunter.


End file.
